Dear Summer, This is the First Day of My Life…

“Old friends pass away, new friends appear. It is just like the days. An old day passes, a new day arrives. The important thing is to make it meaningful: a meaningful friend – or a meaningful day.” – Dalai Lama

My life is for living. Not just working, and studying, and making dinner, and sleeping.

Not just catching up with DVR shows, and not just checking in on Facebook.

Not just for dating, or drinking, or hanging out.

My life is for living. Actively, freely, happily, healthily, and with compassion – living for me. Living the kind of life that fills you up to the brim, and you are sooo full of life that any moment you feel that you may burst!

I remember the first day I ever lived. It was the first day that I really lived for myself and realized that I owned the moments and outcomes of my life. I had just arrived in Madrid for my first solo international trip. I remember thinking I would just “wing it” to get from the airport to Puerta del Sol, the bustling epicenter of Madrid. So an exhausted jet-lagged Mara and her big red suitcase jumped on the metro and got lost for two hours. When I finally arrived at the Sol metro stop, I hauled my oversized suitcase up the stairs (it was too big for the escalator) while hurried and annoyed commuters bristled past me.

When I made it to the top of the stairs, it was mid-day in Sol and I was stunned and speechless. Never before had anything in my life looked so grand, so beautiful, so intimidating, and yet so full of limitless potential. I remember taking the biggest breath of Spanish air that I could muster and I vowed to memorize the moment. The first moment I had really lived for myself.

It has been over 6 years since I studied in Madrid. But the memory of the moment still inspires me. The friends I made in Spain, even though I don’t talk to them much, still exist. Proof positive that it was real, I was there, and that I lived.

Now that I am a “responsible adult” I can’t just jet off to a foreign country to live. I have a job I take pride in, and friends and family that I love and that depend on me. But I still want to live a meaningful life. I still want moments I can memorize. I want to be full to the brim.

For a few years shaky years there, I equated my primary meaning in life with my relationship. I became stagnant in my own self-development because I was so focused on someone else’s happiness and making sure the life we were building was as happy as I could make it. And somewhere along the way, I stopped really living for me.

This is the first day of my life.

In the past few weeks, I have been filling myself up to the brim. I have been traveling on many mini-adventures, visiting with old friends and making lots of new ones, trying new things (I actually rode on a motorcycle!), writing, running, and cupcake-baking. But I want more!

Dear warm California Summer, I am dedicating your glorious months to Me. I am picking up bits of inspiration from everyone I meet and I’m forging a life rich with learning, growing, stretching, and self-exploration and evolution. My goals, dear Summer, are lofty. I am training to run a 5k and then a 10k by August. I vow to perfect a chocolate soufflé and the best-ever crème brulee. I am borrowing a “starter guitar” and am taking guitar lessons. I signed up for a metalwork jewelry class on Saturdays. I am going to learn how to golf and swim. And I am signing up to take a statistics class to remind myself that “living” is also a challenge.  (I have evaded math my whole life, but living is about conquering fears!) I will not take your warm days for granted, Summer, and in your comforting months, I intend to live life fully.

And somewhere in this Summer of Self — between guitar practice and learning the backstroke — I hope to have a few moments of meaning that I can memorize. Moments where I look at the sun, take a deep breath, and know that I am living for myself.

*Photo by Reservasdecoches via Flickr.

4 Responses to “Dear Summer, This is the First Day of My Life…”

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1. Busta says:

   May 24, 2011 at 9:12 pm

   Love it!!

   Reply
2. Randy says:

   May 24, 2011 at 9:34 pm

   Good for you, my friend!

   I’ve been meaning for a year+ now to pick my guitar back up. I think I should set a goal for myself related to guitar this summer–maybe we can pick a song for both of us to learn?

   And by the way, if you need any help with Statistics, let me know. I’ve tutored my wife in it (before I even took the class), and a couple others since, so I’d be happy to help if you need me.

   Reply
3. Heidi says:

   May 25, 2011 at 4:24 pm

   I want to try is creme brulee! Yay for Jewelry classes! (beware, it’s addictive!)

   Reply
4. Luci says:

   May 26, 2011 at 2:15 pm

   Woo hoo! You go, Girl! Now… don’t forget one of the most important parts to living is… being in the moment! Take time to smell the flowers amongst all of those goals

   Reply