Archive for March, 2011
April Fools’! Nope, it’s no joke – It is my SITS Day!
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When I received an email about my SITS day, I was at work. Suddenly, my voice rang out over the silent sea of cubicles, “APRIL 1 is my SITS DAY! YIP-YIPPEE!!” And then I danced and twirled and jumped for joy.
My cube mate swiveled around quickly in her chair to face me. Bewildered but amused she asked, “Your SITS Day? You need a whole day to SIT? Wait, I don’t get it. Why are you jumping up and down right now in the middle of the office?”
I explained to her (as well as to the handful of other heads who had bobbed above the cubicle walls to witness my excitement) just how special of a day this was for me.
I told them about how I joined this great community of about 8,000 sassy ladies (and some men) bloggers who had the right idea: support each other. That means by reading other blogs, by engaging, by commenting, by writing, by networking.
“And it is called SIT??” my colleague asked again.
“No, SITS. The Secret Is in The Sauce. But, it’s what the name really represents that counts.”
I told them how I went to Bloggy Boot Camp last year with my bff Nicole (of The Fickle Nickle), and how excited we were to meet so many awesome, intelligent, motivated bloggers from around the country. To be chosen as Featured Blogger on this April Fools’ Day is unbelievable. (I did think it was a joke at first!) Are you all really here?? This is the luckiest April Fools’ Day to date!
One of my favorite things about being an adult are the moments that are so special that you know you will remember them forever. The moments that feel so good that you want to prance, spin, sing, laugh, leap, hug, and YIP-YIPPEE with your hands in the air! This, my friends, is one of those moments for me. What have been those kinds of joyous adulthood moments for YOU? Share in the comments!
I am happy to meet all of you! To hear your stories! To read your blogs! To celebrate and commiserate all things wonderful or challenging about adulthood together in this neat little community! If you want to stay involved with everything happening on Welcome to Adulthood, please feel free to subscribe, explore, bookmark, or better yet, submit!
I’m inspired by all of you. And here, among the many meditations on adulthood, I hope that you find something that inspires you too!
(If you want to leave a comment and say hello, click on “Read More.” I promise I will get back to each and every one of ya’. Hooray for new friends!)
Coming Up on Adulthood
It’s all happening!
* Tomorrow is my SITS DAY!! Adulthood is small surprises. Stay tuned!
* Saturday I’ll post a really provocative and thoughtful piece featuring a candid male perspective on a single man’s life post-heart break. This is a new guest blogger you won’t want to miss!
Friendship, My Forever-Favorite Shoes
As an adult, I have learned some lessons the hard way. One of those lessons is that some friendships run their course. A friend may be in your life for a long time, or a little time – you serve a purpose to them, and they serve a purpose to you. Then, at some point, the friendship just…expires. Or does it?
At some points in my life, I would take this supposed-”expiration” pretty hard. I would personalize and think “how could they do that to me?”
I like to think I am never the one that “expires” the relationship. That I always try my best to be the greatest friend ever. But truthfully, I have probably done my share of expiring of friendships (though perhaps accidentally.) The reality is that adulthood is busy (and complex) and it is often hard to keep in touch, even if we may want to.
All in this week, I serendipitously reconnected with three old friends, who were all from different “eras” in my life. One was a friend from 1st grade (see photo above — that is really her!), and although she and I live in the same city, we are both busy and have not kept in touch. The second old friend I reconnected with was my best friend from high school, who moved many cities (and now states) away, and we have also not spent time trying to connect. A three-hour phone call later and we are high school girls again, laughing at old jokes and waxing nostalgic about midnight 7-11 runs (slushies!), and blasting 80′s music in her ’90 Ford Tempo. The third friend was a girlfriend from my early twenties — during our era we drank too much, dated the wrong guys, and really thought we were “adults.” Now, we laugh because we realize how much we had to learn….
When I reconnected with each one of these friends, I realized how easy it felt. How it felt like no time had passed at all. How we settled comfortably into our conversation like an old pair of my favorite dancing shoes! It felt so natural and fun to prance around for a few hours in those great shoes!
So maybe instead of thinking about friendships “expiring” (though I think there are some that do expire – those are usually the toxic ones, like spoiled milk) it is better to think of friendships like fabulous dancing shoes. You may not wear them for a while, but they are always with you in your closet, and when the time is right, and the outfit is right, and the mood is right, you dance your heart out like no time has passed. You spin around and around, and the pain that the shoes may have caused you at some point (darn blisters!) have long since healed, and all you feel is joy and gratitude to have such wonderful shoes!
Adulthood and the Forever Friendship with…YOURSELF
“The person I am is forever with me.” – Louis Hay
When I was in elementary school, my mom would pick me up from school and ask me two important questions: 1) How was your day today? 2) What was one new thing you learned today?
These questions (though my answers were simple as a 7 year old) are still really fundamental to my life. So much of my blog (and my life!) is dedicated to recalling back on each day (“How was your day today, Mara?”) and then thinking about one new thing I learned.
I remember one day in second grade when my mom picked me up from school and I was crying. “How was your day?” she asked in a consoling tone.
Between sobs I replied, “Baaa-aaddd! Melissa and Nicole wouldn’t play with the ball with me today!” I guess I was very upset that my two little elementary school buddies didn’t include me in whatever they were doing that day.
My mom, always wise and insightful, said, “Well, people aren’t always going to want to play with you, and that’s okay. Tomorrow why don’t you bring your own ball and you can play with it.”
The next day, I brought my own ball. I remember that day well. I was embarrassed to play alone with my ball, but I did it. And I did it the day after that, and the one after that, until it got pretty easy to play by myself (because it was actually fun). Luckily, Melissa and Nicole must have eventually played with me again (we are still best buddies 20+ years later), but in the recalling this little childhood experience I am able to learn a lot about adulthood. That is, no matter who plays with you, always be your own best friend.
This means, even during the worst times, be able to love and console yourself unconditionally. Be able to give yourself positive self-talk to remind yourself of all of your great attributes, and all of the awesome things you have to offer to the world.
This idea of “being your own best friend” came up yesterday with one of my girlfriends. This particular friend, a smart and beautiful twenty-something, was voicing concern about wearing her bikini in front of her serious live-in boyfriend during a vacation they have planned for the summer. “As strange as it sounds, I have never worn a bikini in front of him, and I really don’t know if I would feel comfortable.”
This is an instance where being your own best friend becomes invaluable. So, I gave my friend a challenge: “Every day tell yourself five positive things about yourself. Maybe things like, I am healthy and active. I am beautiful. I am smart and funny. I am a great catch. I love my [insert favorite body part here.]”
My friend wrinkled her nose at this challenge and blushed, “I’m going to feel silly saying that! Especially about my [insert chosen favorite body part here]!” (…)
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