50 First Dates
I am instituting a new segment of my blog called 50 First Dates that will recount the adventures of my new-found singledom, as well as episodes from some of our readers dating escapades. I know Carrie Bradshaw has the market on single-gal dating antics, but the difference is: Carrie Bradshaw is fictional.
Truly, a very large component of adulthood is about relationships. And, as I am sure we all have learned at some point, relationships — be they with friends, or lovers, or colleagues, or family — can be hard. So, it does seem fitting to blog about dating, and to collectively ruminate on how we can learn and grow from each and every new person we meet.
I must say, I am really enjoying being single. The weight of my relationship-woes were so heavy and unspoken for so long that now I literally feel lighter. The burden of self-loathing, self-doubt, and self-sacrifice that comes from an unhappy relationship has been lifted, albeit abruptly.
And with the end of the weight comes the beginning of the lightness.
And I laugh more, I think more, I see more, I write more, I walk more, I smell the ocean with deeper breaths and fuller lungs, I smile when the sky is blue, I sing louder in the shower, I appreciate every moment. (…)
In that heavy relationship that held a secret burden of unhappiness, I forgot how much I loved myself. And now that I have remembered, I feel like I got something back – a very good lesson to have learned.
So, I have gone on Dates 1 and 2 of my 50 First Dates series. We’ll just call him “New York.” New York is tall and handsome and fun and smart and has a great New York accent! Did I mention he is moving to New York in like a week? Either way, New York has recently found himself single after a 9 year relationship. Fortuitous perhaps that we met because I have the sense that we have the same kind of outlook on singledom right now: enjoy the present moment.
There is something absolutely exhilarating about just kind of “dating in the moment” and not having to think about the past or the future. So, here is my advice to you, dear single-person reading this blog: Enjoy moments! Have fun! Surround yourself with people who are good to you! Be true to who you are! Be proud of everything you have to offer to the world! Be open to new experiences! Embrace everything you are! And, above all, love and respect yourself — in every thought you think, every word you speak, every choice you make!
Onward and upward, my friends, onward and upward.
And I leave you with a quote from one of my favorite authors, Milan Kundera. (Because a joy of adulthood is that we are highly literate — so I celebrate that whenever I get the chance!)
“The heaviest of burdens crushes us, we sink beneath it, it pins us to the ground….The heavier the burden, the closer our lives come to the earth, the more real and truthful they become. Conversely, the absolute absence of burden causes man to be lighter than air, to soar into heights, take leave of the earth and his earthly being, and become only half real, his movements as free as they are insignificant. What then shall we choose? Weight or lightness?” – Milan Kundera, The Unbearable Lightness of Being
Photo via Mika Hirsimaki on Flickr.
6 Responses to “50 First Dates”
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Love it! Can’t wait to read all about your adventures!
Thank you!!!!!
Yay Mara! So stoked for all your adventures! You are going to have so much fun!
I LOVE this already and I can’t wait for more to follow! My heart was so happy when I got to this part: “And with the end of the weight comes the beginning of the lightness.
And I laugh more, I think more, I see more, I write more, I walk more, I smell the ocean with deeper breaths and fuller lungs, I smile when the sky is blue, I sing louder in the shower, I appreciate every moment.”
You are on such an amazing path friend!