Has Feminism Ruined It for the Working Mother?
“Women do almost as well as men today, as long as they don’t have children.”
This week, New York Times writer David Leonhard wrote an interesting article about working mothers. His argument ties really nicely to the rousing discussion we had on Adulthood just a few weeks ago.
Leonhard sees the Supreme Court as an example of how working mothers are discriminated against in the workplace. He writes, “The last three men nominated to the Supreme Court have all been married and, among them, have seven children. The last three women — Elena Kagan, Sonia Sotomayor and Harriet Miers (who withdrew) — have all been single and without children. This little pattern makes the court a good symbol of the American job market.”
Leonhard goes on to highlight the disparity in salaries between men and women (on average, women make 23% less than men — that is a lot) and he blames the economy for giving women very little options when it comes to career and family.
Leonhard writes that the time women take off for maternity leave and other parenting leave often closes off career paths and takes away opportunity for women to get promotions (and thus, higher pay).
Why is does it close off career paths?
Leonhard suggests it is a cultural phenomenon. He quotes Columbia Professor, Jane Walfogel, “American feminists made a conscious choice to emphasize equal rights and equal opportunities” says Walfogel, “but not to talk about policies that would address family responsibilities.” Leonhard contends that it is not sexism that creates gender equality in the workplace, but rather the consequences of “not following the old-fashion career path.” (i.e. taking time off work to birth a child)
Women with children are more likely to opt for flexible schedules, or work part time, or take more time off, he says. Until society and the economy stop viewing these options as a career-destroyer, Leonhard thinks not much will change.
Leonhard calls for open and honest dialogue about the demands of being a working parent (fathers and mothers alike), suggesting that this real dialogue may eventually change the workplace paradigm that punishes women for being mothers.
As Walfogel said, “Women do almost as well as men today, as long as they don’t have children.”
What do you think?
Can women have it all: a great job, a family, and a balanced life? Did the feminist push for equal rights in the workplace damage women’s opportunities to succeed as a full-time working parent? Do you agree or disagree with Leonhard’s claim? Let’s have a discussion! Sound off in the comments.
-Mara
(photo by *midtownsky* photostream via Flickr)
16 Responses to “Has Feminism Ruined It for the Working Mother?”
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How can the feminist movement have damaged the potential career paths of working mothers when there was very little potential for mothers to work before that?
The feminist movement opened up the workplace. It gave each of us a decision to make based on what we deem most important.
For those who wanted both a family and a career it is a difficult choice, fraught with mixed emotions and tinted by cultural mores: the decision to be driven in your career vs. driving the kids to school plays and doctor appointments. It doesn't have to be either/or, but there are consequences. Severe sleep deprivation being one, dealing with the innate guilt over "not being there", another. (Before I was a mother I didn't think that sort of guilt existed. Now I know that motherhood is made up of mostly guilt over pretty much everything. Not the case with fatherhood, funnily enough. But I digress.)
If a woman is willing to push, and has cooperation, then she can have everything. Case-in-point: My sister-in-law is a lawyer on a partner track. She has two young children who are cosntantly sick. The key for her is that my brother is amazingly awesome and supports her and does everything he can to help her succeed.
I am lucky that my job is not as demanding of my time above and beyond the regular work-week. I am also lucky that I have a husband who supports my passion (writing, of course) and is amazing with my boys so that I can have the time I need to write as much as I need to to do what I ahve to do. Granted, when inspiration strikes I spend weeks on end exhausted in every way until the muse takes her leave, but in the end I have something to show for it. And I am willing to trade sleep for my craft, even when I know I will have to get up at 3am because one of the boys is crying . . . again.
And perhaps I have strayed off topic a bit. I am not currently making money off of my writing, but it is my passion, and if I could do that for a living, if I had my ideal job, I KNOW that I could have it all. It's not easy, but it's possible.
Whoa, without feminism we would have 0 women on the supreme court. And what, those men had 7 children? How did they balance? Hmmm….maybe they had STRONG women in their lives pulling the parenting weight. Now that feminism has gotten past the women in the workforce, it needs to shift the focus to pushing for STRONG men who can work AND raise children. And I'm talking packing lunches and taking kids to the doctor and baking for the bake sale. No one asks how men balance because everyone knows how. They've got back up. Equality means backing each other up, no matter what sex you are. Women deserve backup too. We shouldn't settle for anything less.
Cheers to those comments! That is what makes this blog pretty great (small, but great) — I (and everyone who reads the awesome comments) really learn from the dialogue. Thank you for contributing to this discussion.
feminism battle aside…I like the point about flexibility. though I am not a mother, I find that flexibility in my job is really important to me. Why does the work week have to be 40 hours for everyone? In an increasingly 24/7 world, why should work hours have to be 9-5? I once mentioned to my boyfriend, an ambitious engineer, how it would be fun to move to a random country and do whatever for a while. He noted that it would be detrimental to his career. I think it is sad that corporate life sees no place for detours, when I've found the detours can teach you so much. in fact I was listening to a speech the other day (a TED talk maybe? I can't remember) that posited that we need more renaissance thinkers. That in our increasingly focused studies and career paths we could be missing valuable connections between fields. I think being able to take time to do something else for a while could actually provide a better integration and understanding, both in life and in business.
This is so true it almost made me cry. I had been at my last job for over 10 years. I had a great reputation and track record with respect to my work. But about 2 years ago I got a new boss who had a very boys club mentality. I know that my career path and success with impressing this person was shot to hell because I have a young child.
I was made to feel bad for working form home when my child was home sick from school. Outright told it was a problem that i would not answer emails (of the NON URGENT NATURE) at all hours of the day, night and weekend. My husband makes a lot more money than I do, so for practical reasons, it just made more sense for me to be the one to take the lead on caring for our child during illness etc.
I quit last september and just started a new job this week. I feel pretty confident that the culture at the small comm firm that i now work at is different and I was very upfront about my accessibility.
I’ll never put myself through that again.
Oh boy, I have soo many things to say that it’s best I just not get fired up right now before my coffee….
First of all, Happy SITS day and THANK YOU for including this in your list of must-read posts.
I have been struggling with this a lot lately. I am a full-time working mom who has several friends that opted to either work part-time or become SAHM when their children were born. They attend Bible studies, play groups, community activities, and social events while I’m at work. And, although I feel like I’m really missing out, I also feel guilty because I enjoy coming to work every day. I don’t think I’m cut out to be at home all day and just having those thoughts makes me feel bad. A few months ago I was promoted and now I find myself working evenings, either at the office or at home, and am missing out on more and more time with my daughter. So, add that to all of the other stresses that women feel and I’m just plain…tired. I think it’s great that previous generations fought for my right to work but now I’m also a bit bitter about it…why oh WHY didn’t they address these issues that my generation is now left “holding the bag” for? sigh….
Wow. Powerful post. I well remember in the late early 70′s all the attitudes about women and equal pay for equal work. It’s kind of sad we are still battling that battle. My mom was an amazing example of a woman working within what was “allowed” to women in the mid-50′s and 60′s. She stayed home until my bro and I were in school, then she went out and conquered her part of the world with dignity and respect. I know there were glass ceilings but she put some big cracks in them, without ever losing her “self”. Visiting from SITS!
And the funniest thing about this post are all the people blaming the former generations for the lack of a “perfect world” for them. These battles for the right to be treated equally have been going on for over 100 years! John Stuart Mill, a man and advocate for women’s rights, first brought the idea of women’s suffrage up in the platform he presented to British electors in 1865. 1865 – pause and think about that.
I left a very successful, high-paying career when I had my first baby – this was from choice, I was very lucky I was able to make that choice – most women aren’t. There is a huge discrepancy in the workplace between women and men, and the makeup of the kidless women on the supreme court shows that. As for the feminist movement opening up opportunities for women in the workplace (mentioned by Dark Side, above) – sure – but that movement has not gone far enough by any stretch of the imagination here in America. In fact – in my opinion, women’s rights are practically non-existent when it comes to the topic of paid maternity leave for all women (and don’t even get me started on childcare). Take a look at this partial list of “Best & Worst Countries w. Paid Maternity Leave” – the US is number 1 on the list of WORST, with good reason. Our country would not lose anything if we began to honor mothers and our children by instituting a supportive, paid maternity-leave policy such as Sweden has:
10 Best Countries for Paid Maternity Leave:
Sweden – up to 80% of average wage for up to 480 days (for mums or dads) & expected to share parental leave either in equal halves or greater part dependant on the partners consent
Croatia – 100% of wages for one-year plus for mums
Denmark – up to 100% of wages for 1 year (18 wks for the mums, 2 wks for the dads & the remainder to be split as the parents see fit)
Serbia – up to 100% of wages for 1 year
Bosnia & Herzegovina – up to 100% of wages for 1 year
Albania – up to 80% of wages for 1 year
Norway – pays up to 100% of wages for 42-52 weeks
UK – up to 90% of wages for 39 weeks & 2-weeks paternity leave
Iceland – up to 80% of wages for 36 weeks
Ukraine – up to 100% of wages for 18 weeks & a child’s carer can request leave any time before their charge reaches the age of 3
10 Worst countries for Paid Maternity Leave:
United States – pays nothing for 12 weeks off
Macedonia – pays nothing for 9 months off
I’ll tell you what, as a mother and someone who was in the workforce FT prekids and is now working PT doing something I love, I don’t think I could do both at the same time and do it well. Mothering is a FT job, more than that, actually. I know that I myself could not have it all. That’s my choice right now, and one that I’m very happy with!
I’m visiting from SITS and hope that you’re having a great SITS Day!
I honestly believe that women are capable of doing everything that men can do in the workforce. The reason we run into “issues” when we have children is because there are not a lot of men out there that can do what women do as far as raising children.
I love that you included this as one of your 3 SITS posts!
I once wrote about something like this, and titled it in such a way to make people mad (I think the title was “Feminism? Yuk!”). It’s not that I’m against the Feminism movement – not a bit – because as the Mistress of the Darkside and jbeemills pointed out, we women have come a long way as a result of the influences and hard work of the members of the Feminist movement.
I think we need more, though. I think it needs to be understood that staying home to care for your kids is not a negative thing for a woman to do. I also think that it needs to be Ok for the man of the house to be a house-spouse and care for the kids while his wife is pulling in the money to pay the bills.
My spouse and I share the home stuff now that the kids are a bit older, and he gets the AM shift while I take the after-school run.
I think that David Leonhard is on to something: we have a long way to go for equality. But I think it is possible to achieve, too.
Hmmm… This is a very interesting question to me and I think there is a grain of truth to what this author says.
When I went to college I had an internship in another country for four months (I was in Kampala, Uganda). I worked at an agency that was led by a woman who was very well educated and very respected among the agency employees. We had both men and women work at the small agency and I believe everyone felt there was a sentiment of equality between men and women there.
I remember that I was so impressed one day when one of our valuable team members (another woman) did not show up to work at last minute’s notice. She stayed home because her son was sick. She was given sick leave to tend to her son for as long as she needed AND our staff prayed for her son at the end of our morning meeting that day. I was so, so impressed! The staff did not blame her or complain one bit that their team mate was gone to help her son. She was gone for over a week but there was no feeling of animosity or sense of competition with that employee. There was only a sentiment of supportiveness for her and her son to get better.
I think that in order for us to continue to gain respect in the work force, women (and their roles as mothers) must be given due value for the future of our society.
As a working mother, I’ve been fortunate to be with a company that has allowed me a flexible work schedule where I can be at home two days of the work week. Do I think that holds me back from rising up within the company? Not really. What I think holds me back is that I choose not to pursue additional responsibilities that would require more time in the office.
There is only so much time in a day. I’d rather not sacrifice more of it than I currently am to my job. My children are my priority. Now, if I made my job the priority, pursued additional responsibilities and promotions, I have no doubt that my career would continue upward. But I don’t want that. Not now.
I think it’s impossible to HAVE it all. You have to make choices and sacrifices. But it is possible to ENJOY it all by being confident in your life decisions and content with what you have and are.
:> BTW your blog page was shared by Themelis Cuiper, search engine result advertising god, so you must be doing an amazing job?